no year new fear.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU


as an aside I also really really want this:

for 2007 the look is alarmingly prince charming.

urgh let’s get over it:

what did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before? molto sexy fashion fringe darling! shocked people with horrendously big hair. lived with maybe too many girls . watched the shining. wore a ruff. breathed the same air as tom ford. spoke to saint antony price. maybe indulged in a tiny bit of hyperbole. and dutty wined ‘til dawn.
how did you see in the new year? dully. and will probably be saying the same next year.
did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? ratlike facial hair is a plus. as for the downy growth, I think the tsunami of hair on my head may be draining it from the rest of my weeny body. this year I want to sex more and have world peaces. plus the hair is in for a hauptsturmführer hack.
did someone close to you give birth? urgh I hope not.
did anyone close to you die? I’m relatively untainted by death, despite my sartorial insistence to the contrary.
what countries did you visit? here. there.
what would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? focus.
what date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? I’ve just realised I did far less this year than I did last year. and what I did should be kept oblique: may and mar were a memory to be savoured, if only for the irony; various recent days/nights of which I am not permitted to speak; being threatened whilst far-too-soberly wearing leggings and a flocked plastic pork-pie hat was a novel northern experience I am not anxious to relive; clapton maybe is better left unsaid. although the year can be pretty much fully illustrated with this:

what was your biggest achievement(s) of the year? just surviving it was an achievement, to be honest.
what was/were your biggest failure(s)? I’d rather not relive them.
did you suffer illness or injury? no, but I faked it pretty convincingly.
what was the best thing you bought? I have just realised I have bought so much fucking stuff it’s untrue. although hopefully the best is yet to come.
whose behaviour merited celebration? mine. sorry I’m great I’m giving up false protestations of modesty for early lent.
whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? certain unnamed individuals.
where did most of your money go? straight into bernard arnault’s coffers.
what did you get really, really, really excited about? eighties velvet cocktail dresses.
compared to this time last year, are you
i. happier or sadder? drunk.
ii. thinner or fatter? bloated. but I’m pretty sure it’s all water weight.
iii. richer or poorer? this is getting repetitive.
what do you wish you'd done more of? drinking, caring less, mac fixing, truly unselfconscious dancing.
what do you wish you'd done less of? overthinking.
how will you be spending Christmas? on a fucking boat. kill me now.
did you fall in love in 2006? only with my lamé trench.
how many one-night stands? too few. I’m practically a nun these days.
what was your favourite TV program? hollyoaks in the city.
do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? new ravers.
what was the best book you read?

and I’m sure my flatmates agree.
what was your greatest musical discovery?

oh, we all know the answer I’ve forced them down your throat and into the ears of anyone unfortunate enough to sit next to me on public transport.
what did you want and get? gilded 6.5s.
what did you want and not get? BUTT. in the other sense.
what music will you remember from this year? something kind of ooooh. obviously.
what did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I repressed. and hopefully drank enough to forget how to count.
what one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? anal orgasms.
how would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006? ripper jack the ripper, overgilding the lily, tight, trite, white, monochromantic. fuck it, let’s just call it absolut knocker, courtesy of hedi slimane of course.
what kept you sane? ...?
which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? suzy menkes. or craig dean from hollyoaks but we don’t talk about that do we now?
what political issue stirred you the most? anti-fur window displays in topshop.

mainly because those anti-fur badges would look amazing on an ocelot coat.
who do you miss? oh, they know.
who was the best new person you met? I’ll put you too vanessa (don’t tell tess). kamal too, despite my rather worse-for-wear demeanour. new best friend antony price is a close third.
tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:cyberdog plays amazing trance.
quote a song lyric that sums up your year: oh I wanna dance with somebody. with somebody who loves me.

happy xmas.

love,
Alex.
taking the christ out of christmas since '82.

oh, and p.s.
DIOR HOMME SPRING WHATATATATATA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

TUNICSTUNICSTUNICSTUNICSTUNICSTUNICSTUNICSTNUCIS TUUUUUNICS!!!!!!

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YEEYEEEYES

they make me weep WEEEEEP with joy. although essentially I will just look like a cock in a frock. WHO CARES INSOLENT SWINES!

and I love the tuxedo waistcoat belt-thing more than I thought entirely possible without penetration.

BUY AND DIE I WILL HAVE IT

I’m excited. could you guess?
obviously I need to work an arsehole-more to afford the shit. or maybe just egay my taille 44 dior homme blazer (I mean let’s face it I could never bulk that out). should probs just sell a lung.

luisaviaroma sale makes me cry. I’m hoping there are too many fatties for the ridiculous sizes to sell out...