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parisian perfection [04 Mar 2008|03:57pm]

lanvin


alexander mcqueen


JOHN GALLLLIANO

it was wonderful to be a city dedicated to absolute, unabashed beauty in all its forms.

one of the single most incredible experiences of my entire life. I will never ever forget it.

more soon. ish.

love,
Alex.
3 wisecracks| BUTT.

Alexander McQueen [01 Mar 2008|02:04am]
oh I'm too tired just read this.

I have chanel at nine. and really really need a shower. PLEASE NOTE THE TIME.

wonderful, really. my galliano invite came today.

love,
Alex.

p.s. NOTER S'IL VOUS PLAIT THAT THE TIME IS BRITISH TIME AND IN FRANCE IT WAS 3-ISH AND IS NOW 4-ISH AAAARGH

i didn't sleep on wednesday night, last night I got seven hours, tonight three. shit.
7 wisecracks| BUTT.

yves saint laurent rive gauche. [29 Feb 2008|12:08am]
[ mood | FYI ]

incredible. just incredible. really really amazing. I cried a little. so wonderful. just wait.

SO SO GOOD!

I have been rhapsodising about it for hours.

love,
Alex.

5 wisecracks| BUTT.

LONDON’S CALLING [19 Feb 2008|09:27pm]

HOUSE OF HOLLAND


There were rumours of a 30-odd piece collection at Gareth Pugh (21, but close enough). There were rumours of Kate Moss at Westwood (no Moss, but a bare-breasted placard-toting transexual did close the show). There were rumours Marios Schwab threw out his entire collection a month before the show (that one, Schwab told me, was true – and he’s all the greater for it). London Fashion Week was bigger and – dare we say it? – better than it has been for ten years.

Despite the bright mood throughout the city, London’s fashion offering was decidedly dark – then again, this is what we do best. You know something is afoot when you can look at Basso and Brooke’s usually retina-detaching wares without groping for sunglasses, and even Luella proferred something lightly macabre, inspired by Britt Ekland in the Wicker Man and a Cornwall Pagan Witch museum.


GARETH PUGH


The man most probably responsible is Gareth Pugh, the black sheep of British fashion who delivered pretty much exactly what we expected of him. This season, however, he did churn out 21 looks – an admirable feat – and a collection that made coherent sense in the way his previous offerings have fallen short. This was a whirlwind ride – well, the Wizard of Oz was the loose theme – taking in Swarovski-crystal leggings, lashings of monkey fur and geodesic abstractions galore. However, there was the real feeling that Pugh worked to push his look forward somewhat, from spectacular covetable Nicholas Kirkwood platforms to the exaggerated (but entirely on-trend) Montana-esque tailoring that opened the show - the fact they were made entirely of zips made them all the more impressive, not just schlocky horror pieces. As with Oz, it was all about the man behind the curtain - and even I have to admit perhaps there’s more behind’s Pugh’s playful polyhedra than mere flash and dazzle.

Pugh’s offering was indicative of London’s direction as a whole: a consolidation of talent, and proving that we can deliver what we promise. Alexander McQueen’s legacy still means that London is considered the sartorial Dark Prince of Goth next to the polish of Milan, the gloss of New York and the dripping bougeoise soignée of Paris. Todd Lynn has always excelled at the dark side of life, and his strong show was sharp and tailored, blurring the masculine-feminine divide in bruised shades of purple, blue and every permutation of black. Louise Goldin’s technicolor spring show darkened for winter, in a collection that was part Logan’s Run part Nanook of the North. Her Swarovski-frosted knits, futuristic fur-trimmed angular anoraks and Constructivist body-con knits in a palette of bruise, amethyst and teal were stunning. Even Emma Cook, the booky, kooky London queen of cute, reinterpreted her signature babydoll shapes in a collection of exquisitely patchworked lace and tie-dyed latex which managed to make Goth Cowgirl a viable option for next season – even with the slightly Jon Benet Ramsey Swarovski-fringed showgirl frocks.


LOUISE GOLDIN


Lightening the mood somewhat was Henry Holland, who has rapidly set himself up as the Jester of London’s fashion court. His plaid-packed House of Holland highland fling was inconsequential nonsense, but hit a high note because that was exactly what he intended it to be. It was icing on the cake that the fun clothes – lurid tartans, cashmere-mohairs and a clever way with knife-pleating – were well-made and interesting, even if not particularly innovative. The finale of Agyness as a Brigadoon Bride in tiered kilt wedding-gown, tartan antlers and eyepatch, was pretty hard to top.

In a frankly stellar season, two shows stood out for their consummate skill, grace and for finally shifting fashion (at least London Fashion) up a gear. Giles Deacon finally moved on his more-oft-than-not clumsy couture techniques into a new realm. His theme was The Masque of the Red Death by Poe, and his collection was the best from his hand since his first show under his own label. There was something Schiaparelli-esque about the duchesse satin suits, their jackets puffed with down to Superman proportions: but as opposed to Schiap’s wackiness, like her subtley surreal suiting Giles’ offering combined concept and chic perfectly. For evening, Giles thankfully didn’t turn to any of his usually shonky shenanigans in floor-length amateur dramatics – merely flawlessly-cut torso-hugging sheaths and billowing capes, the shadowed, rotted palette of damson, petrol-blue and olive rendered the silken fabrics even more luxurious. Most exquisite were the models with their faces wrapped in featherlight silk-chiffon - although their anonymous beauty perhaps begged the same accusations of the chauvenism of seeing woman as automata, sexualised and yet emotionless.

If Giles’ collection brought up questions of sexism, Marios Schwab’s brought outright accusations of misogyny. Models smothered in pattern from high neck to ankle in restrictive tubular dresses hobbled slowly along the runway in six-inch heels - the procession was undeniably uncomfortable, and yet fascinating to watch. If the collection was bad, this would have been a death-knell for a young designer still refining his vision - however, the collection was a definitive, authoritive statement in which everything, everything looked horrfyingly new. The length and cut was severe in the extreme, dresses sliced open to form windows onto the body, while others were laser-cut to peel away from the form like layers of mildewing textile disintegrating with every step. The collection’s namesake, the feminist novella ‘The Yellow Wallpaper,’ formed a narrative justification for every aspect of the show, and despite a general move away from ‘conceptual’ fashion, it was this concept which made the collection so powerful. The strict attenuated silhouette, faultless styling, exquisite accessories and claustrophic Nick Ryan soundtrack made Schwab’s chilling vision the highlight of london fashion week. This collection pushed his aesthetic – and indeed London Fashion as a whole - to a new level.


GILES MARIOS SCHWAB


love,
Alex.
8 wisecracks| BUTT.

I hate fashion. [14 Feb 2008|05:09pm]
ann-sofie back, edward sexton, eley kishimoto (missed due to door security and no PR), emma cook, louise goldin, paul smith, duro olowu, marios schwab, krystof strozyna, meadham kirchhoff, aquascutum, basso and brooke, todd lynn, nathan jenden, armand basi, jens laugesen, house of holland, fashion east, roksanda ilincic, gareth pugh, very very very late giles.
tonight, vivienne westwood.
tomorrow, gavin douglas, peter jensen, MAN, central saint martins MA. no julien. I'm not even thinking about paris.

I am tired and unshaven, wearing two john lewis school cardigans buttoned together, with unwashed hair, bags bigger than my vuitton (babeth) and precariously soled westwood pirate boots. giles last night was scheduled at 7.30, finished at 10.30, and I filed copy at about 2.

I have been front row, second row, third row and standing. I have been crushed by the tit of a well-known fashion editor, have had my picture inexplicably taken a dozen or so times, ruined my feet by cramming them into luella alphabite-print winks (TOTALLY worth it they are so signature!), and had a very very nice chat with caryn franklin of the clothes show, while on the mobile bordello that was the moët et chandon fashion bus (pronounced 'buzz' if you're from the north. as all the best people in fashion are).

god, I love fashion. so much.

check it out.

love,
Alex
p.s. we didn't get chanel. bell-end.
3 wisecracks| BUTT.

I love fashion. [09 Feb 2008|08:41pm]
so, starting tomorrow with ann-sofie back I am doing london fashion week.
yes, week. I’m not even punning on ‘weak’ anymore.

expect to actually see me update. and if not here I am sure I will be rambling away on SHOWstudio until penny finally punches me out for crying at fucking paul costelloe or something.

so yeah, I’ll try and do some kind of show coverage. so keep your eyes open. mine will be behind coke-bottle shades. and possible that stupid bernhard willhelm visor.

if you see me say hello or something. I'll be the gibbering wreck down in back.

love,
Alex.
4 wisecracks| BUTT.

LE UPDATE [05 Feb 2008|10:11pm]
[ mood | frangleterre. ]
[ music | je veux te voir. ]

JEUDI 28 FÉVRIER 2008
09:30 am STELLA MCCARTNEY Carreau du Temple
10:30 am VALENTINO Palais de Chaillot - 1 place du Trocadéro - Paris 16e
11:30 am LÉONARD Le Carrousel du Louvre - Salle Delorme*
12:30 pm BARBARA BUI Le Carrousel du Louvre - Salle Le Nôtre*
1:30 pm ANNE VALÉRIE HASH Le Carrousel du Louvre - Salle Soufflot*
2:30 pm GIAMBATTISTA VALLI Espace Eiffel - Quai Branly - Paris 7e
3:30 pm ZUCCA École Nationale Supérieure des Beaux-Arts - Salle Melpomène - 13 quai Malaquais - Paris 6e
4:30 pm CELINE Espace Ephémère Tuileries - Jardin des Tuileries – Paris 1er
5:30 pm HAIDER ACKERMANN Couvent des Cordeliers - 15 rue de l'Ecole de Médecine - Paris 6e
6:30 pm SOPHIA KOKOSALAKI Palais de Tokyo
8:00 pm YVES SAINT LAURENT Grand Palais - avenue Winston Churchill - Paris 8e

un hhardcore jour, je pense. je n’aime pas stella mccartney mais elle est mon premier défilé a la Paris et par consequence je pense je dois montrer mon visage. cependant, je dois levez a 4 ou 5hr pour le eurostar, donc mon visage semblera rugueux de la cul d’un badger.

quel a shit. mais je peux encore porter mes poussoirs de velours de ysl.

‘poussoirs’ is possible mon favouri mot de français. ou franglais, a mon interprétation. ou something.

I have decided I am dressing like a comedy frenchy for my first day in paris. I figure mascara through the moustache, black beret, stripy gaultier matelot and this almost utterly the same as every other coat I have charles anastase mini-french-trench



and a hideous printed scarfy-cravat and maybe some kind of huge diamanté PARIS brooch or a stick-on eiffel tower of like a loaf of pain or whatever else the frenchies are wearing pour les hivers.

man I am totally going to die ouvert la manche if I have to rely on these linguistic skills.

love,
Alex.

p.s.

this is utterly what I haaaave to use for the whole of pariche fashion week. totally (hahah tote-ally worst pun ever a french man is going to beat me to death with a jour-old baguette for that punny lingus).

p.p.s. is buying an oversized, out-of-season pleated leather-trimmed crimbo kane cardigan with diamond buttons a bad idea, or THE BEST I’VE EVER HAD?
11 wisecracks| BUTT.

merci mode à paris. [30 Jan 2008|05:38pm]
[ mood | PPPPPPPARIS ]
[ music | something homo. ]

THURSDAY FEBRUARY 2008 THE 28TH – to be confirmed

FRIDAY FEBRUARY 2008 THE 29TH
09:30 am HIROMICHI NAKANO Carré des Champs-Elysées - Pavillon Ledoyen - 1 avenue Dutuit - Paris 8e
10:30 amCHANEL Grand Palais - avenue du Général Eisenhower - Paris 8e
11:30 am AGNÈS B. Palais de Tokyo - 13 avenue du Président Wilson - Paris 16e
12:30 pm JEAN-CHARLES DE CASTELBAJAC Le Carrousel du Louvre - Salle Delorme*
1:30 pm ALENA AKHMADULLINA Le Carrousel du Louvre - Salle Soufflot*
2:30 pm SONIA RYKIEL Espace Ephémère Tuileries – Jardin des Tuileries – Paris 1er
3:30 pm JUNKO SHIMADA To be confirmed
4:30 pm RUE DU MAIL (by Martine Sitbon) Ecole Nationale Supérieure des Beaux-Arts - Salle Melpomène - 13 quai Malaquais - Paris 6e
5:30 pm ES ORCHESTRES To be confirmed
6:30 pm JOSE CASTRO To be confirmed
8:00 pm ALEXANDER MCQUEEN Palais Omnisports de Paris Bercy - Salle Marcel Cerdan - Porte 28 - 8 boulevard de Bercy - Paris 12e

SATURDAY MARCH 2008 THE 1ST
10:30 am KENZO Carreau du Temple - 3 rue Dupetit Thouars - Paris 3e
11:30 am ELIE SAAB Le Carrousel du Louvre - Salle Delorme *
12:30 pm WUNDERKIND Le Carrousel du Louvre - Salle Soufflot*
1:30 pm PAUL & JOE Le Carrousel du Louvre - Salle Le Nôtre*
2:30 pm COMMUUN Le Carrousel du Louvre - Salle Gabriel*
3:30 pm CHLOÉ Espace Ephémère Tuileries - Jardin des Tuileries - Paris 1er
4:30 pm MARTIN GRANT École Nationale Supérieure des Beaux-Arts - Salle Melpomène - 13 quai Malaquais - Paris 6e
5:30 pm HERMÈS Espace Eiffel - Quai Branly - Paris 7e
6:30 pm LIMI FEU To be confirmed

SUNDAY MARCH 2008 THE 2ND
10:00 am VANESSA BRUNO 8 rue de la Pierre Levée - Paris 11e
11:00 am NINA RICCI Espace Ephémère Tuileries - Jardin des Tuileries - Paris 1er
12:00 pm CHAPURIN Le Carrousel du Louvre - Salle Delorme*
1:00 pm YUKI TORII Le Carrousel du Louvre - Salle Gabriel*
2:00 pm COLETTE DINNIGAN Le Carrousel du Louvre - Salle Soufflot*
3:00 pm LOUIS VUITTON See invitation
- SAKINA M'SA To be confirmed
5:30 pm LANVIN Espace Eiffel - Quai Branly - Paris 7e
6:30 pm MOON YOUNG HEE To be confirmed
7:30 pm MIU MIU See invitation
8:30 pm CHADO RALPH RUCCI To be confirmed

god, those 'to be confirmed' slots are killing me. and the WHOLE of thursday?! what the fuck how the HELL can I plan outfits. jesus.


this is what paris is totally going to be like. i swear to jesus. six foot runways, pink poodles and everyone tryna be 'san loron'. ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES! jer'my hasn't confirmed when he's showing yet. if I get to see him I will weep weep hot tears of joy.

I am wearing head-to-toe backwards PARIS prints and ted lapidus sunglasses.

oh, I'm totally a one trick pony until 3rd march. just so you all know.

love,
Alex.
14 wisecracks| BUTT.

2007. [15 Jan 2008|12:46pm]
[ mood | sick. ]
[ music | sick. ]

this is a classic, and always depressing, way to while away time when I should be sleeping post NYE.

what did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before? my first real fashion show, my first real fashion shoot, my first real fashion life, work work work work, graduated, got a very expensive haircut that made me cry, was photographed naked – actually, being photographed by someone else and actually liking the pictures is a first.
how did you see in the new year? shitfaced with sweaty gays in dior homme. god, déja vu much?
did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I definitely had more sex, and the hair has been savagely sliced. although I cried for three hours afterwards (the hair, not the sex). my resolution this year is to write something which reaches the zenith of literary perfection that is ‘no lifeguard on duty: the accidental life of the world’s first supermodel’ by janice dickinson.


did someone close to you give birth? possibly. maybe. I don’t really deal with children except for reborns
did anyone close to you die? isabella blow. god, isabella. I’m still not really over it. I started crying thinking about her on the bus the other day please don’t ask me why.
what countries did you visit? greece. does the frozen tundra of my northern homeland count as a separate country? it should.
what would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? liquidised lamb foetuses injected into my face FOREVER YOUNG
what date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? so so many, good and bad. this was a memorable year.
what was your biggest achievement(s) of the year? graduating, getting published and working for marios and SHOW would be pretty incredible achievements to the me of this time last year.
what was/were your biggest failure(s)? don’t confront me with them.
did you suffer illness or injury? I’m always fucking ill.
what was the best thing you bought? yves saint laurent embroidered velvet evening slippers.
whose behaviour merited celebration? lulu kennedy, penny martin, sophie, ute, maria – in fact, maison marios and all who sail in her (special thanks to mr schwab). essentially, everyone who took a chance on a dickhead with a stupid haircut straight out of s’marts. and special thanks to my svengali professor rebecca arnold.
whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? I’m over being appalled or depressed by anything other people do. I managed to disappoint myself though, as always.
where did most of your money go? you tell me.
what did you get really, really, really excited about? cakes, biscuits, moustaches, dresses.
compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? hard to tell.
ii. thinner or fatter? I can finally, inexorably, unequivocally say I am SCIENTIFICALLY thinner than last year. with a BMI teetering at a precarious 18.9. fuck. yeah.
iii. richer or poorer? richer. and yet poorer.
what do you wish you'd done more of? savouring the moment.
what do you wish you'd done less of? regretting things I couldn’t change. resenting things. ignoring problems (but that’s a lifetime habit, honestly). worrying endlessly. does the list ever end?
how will you be spending Christmas? yet again I spent it waterbound and freezing to death. I wish my parents were landlubbers.
did you fall in love in 2007? yes.
how many one-night stands? just enough. just about.
what was your favourite TV program? totally hollyoaks.
do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? amy fucking eleanor still.
what was the best book you read? it’s a toss-up between the beautiful fall and janice dickinson.
what was your greatest musical discovery? rediscovering dolly parton recently was wonderful. otherwise, maybe jamaican dancehall?
what did you want and get? so much.
what did you want and not get? too much.
what music will you remember from this year? dutty wiiine an da hot wuk bwoy.
what did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I am somewhere in my twenties nothing happened we do not discuss it it never occurred capisce?
what one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? better hair and jer’my scott 3-D spex.
how would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? reckless, child-sized and far beyond my means.
what kept you sane? maison marios schwab, and numerous over-the-counter drugs in dangerous combinations.
which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

totally tori spelling.
what political issue stirred you the most? they still have politics these days?
who do you miss? issy. if only as a front-row fixture from afar.
who was the best new person you met? leo.
tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007: every silver lining has a cloud.
quote a song lyric that sums up your year: non, je ne regrette rien.


real resolutions:
eat less, but better.
drink less, but better.
spend more, but better.
say ‘no’ more.
try to be more confrontational.
try to be more mature.
think.

love,
Alex.

p.s. if you faygelahs are that was inclined you can go to SHOWstudio and hear my horrible faggy self interviewing the lovely damien jalet about choreographing Bernhard Willhelm's Men in Tights.
here
and there

p.p.s. god I am so sick my face is a pizza of pain.
11 wisecracks| BUTT.

overworked, overpaid, over-overspending. [10 Jan 2008|04:24pm]
[ mood | just. over. ]
[ music | some shit. ]

well, I haven’t updated this for eons.
well, since november, properly. never prone to hyperbole.
maybe it’s better expressed in pictures than in words?




then again, according to these pictures I have lost about 15 years in age and am a catholic schoolboy (with overdeveloped facial hair) in the ‘total eclipse of the heart’ video.

contrary to the above, I am slogging and blogging at SHOWstudio, I swear. oh and loving every second. it really is wonderful. I’m trying not to gush. I miss marios’, the craziness was great and everyone there was lovely and it felt so fashion, but SHOW is a different rhythm and different environment. and no less fashion, really. just different.

unfortunately I haven’t really been too good at unleashing the full extent of my fairly-extensive wardrobe on my (almost) unsuspecting editor. the willhelm monkey-suit and bottega veneta neon leopard will have to wait. well, at least until fashion week. it’ll be a change from her seeing me dressed as what equates to a john lewis attired st trinians extra, though.

yeah so in november I saw princess superstar. she may have some kind of restraining order or something against me now, as I did insist on talking to her a little too often. and trying to force her to dance with me. and for some reason I gave her a beret. don’t ask.

I have been relatively good so far, purchase wise. all I have bought are a pair of dior glitter-jeans that are ‘unwashable’ (according to the label YEAH), a pair of eggshell-blue mcqueen shoes with each shoe a different size (neither mine) and a 1992 chanel belt with COCO written in 2-inch metallic letters and a logo on the end about as big as my noggin.

oh, and these:

SO SO BEAUTIFUL REALLY.
I have no idea why this picture makes me look like I have gout. never wearing them with white socks again, that’s for sure. even if they did almost get thoroughly ruined at new years

impractical footwear is apparently what 2008 is all about for me. I am hankering after patent dries van noten pumps with a tuxedo bow and navy mcqueen patent winklepickers. and we all assumed what with two jobs I would at least try to claw my way slightly out of debt. pft.

penny, my editrix, keeps threatening to take me for offal at the st. john bar and restaurant. I can cope with lancashire cheese and an eccles cake, but offal is a step too far, even for a child from the north.

happy new year. homos.

love,
Alex.
17 wisecracks| BUTT.

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